Spanking, clothing and humiliation

Spanking and Domestic Discipline
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NateG
Posts: 910
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 7:34 pm
Location: Virginia

Re: Spanking, clothing and humiliation

Post by NateG » Wed Dec 18, 2019 7:31 pm

Lauren wrote:
Tue Dec 17, 2019 1:34 pm
Every spanking is done bare bottom in our house.
I believe they all should be that way too.

SweetPea611
Posts: 198
Joined: Tue Oct 01, 2019 12:54 pm
Location: Northern CA

Re: Spanking, clothing and humiliation

Post by SweetPea611 » Wed Dec 18, 2019 8:10 pm

I’ve always been spanked on the bare bottom as well. The severity of the spanking is based more on the tool (hand of implement) and how long it lasts.

DisciplinedWife
Posts: 19
Joined: Tue Dec 03, 2019 4:12 am

Re: Spanking, clothing and humiliation

Post by DisciplinedWife » Wed Dec 18, 2019 9:46 pm

My hubby believes that behavioral change is an outcome of pain and shame. The caning provides the pain and the humiliation, which is related to the state of my undressing, the shame. This arrangement seems to have worked well for us. I am required to keep a log of every spanking. I have been married for 8 years. In the first 15 months I received caning 50 times and in the next 6.5 years I have received caning only 55 times. This year, I have been caned only 4 times, although one was a double 12 and another one was a 12.

@Olivia...I am surprised you don't have set spankings. How do you know your punishment fitted the crime and how does your hubby maintain consistency in punishments? Yes, there is a focus on the countdown during the spanking as I want to avoid the pain but if there was no set spanking I would be very worried about how long it would go one rather than my violations. The learning and behavioural change in my opinion comes from reflections about what led to the caning and the instinctive desire to avoid pain rather than the caning process
itself.

Emily
Posts: 463
Joined: Fri Nov 08, 2019 3:49 am
Location: UK

Re: Spanking, clothing and humiliation

Post by Emily » Thu Dec 19, 2019 1:08 am

DisciplinedWife wrote:
Wed Dec 18, 2019 9:46 pm
@Olivia...I am surprised you don't have set spankings. How do you know your punishment fitted the crime and how does your hubby maintain consistency in punishments? Yes, there is a focus on the countdown during the spanking as I want to avoid the pain but if there was no set spanking I would be very worried about how long it would go one rather than my violations. The learning and behavioural change in my opinion comes from reflections about what led to the caning and the instinctive desire to avoid pain rather than the caning process
itself.
I’m not Olivia, but I’d like to answer this question as there’s no set number spankings here either. When I'm spanked by Daniel I put all my trust in him to give me the spanking he feels I deserve at that time and to not overdo it. Yes, some spankings have lasted longer than I would have liked, but I don’t feel that he’s ever over spanked me or given me more than I deserve. Besides which, I’m a big crier when I get spanked, so I don’t think I’d be able to keep count if I got a set number. I will agree though that the reflection time and the desire to avoid another spanking is part of the learning and behavioural change process.
Happily married to the most wonderful and loving guy! 💖💖💖

Olivia
Posts: 633
Joined: Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:09 am

Re: Spanking, clothing and humiliation

Post by Olivia » Thu Dec 19, 2019 7:14 am

Reflection time is so important for me too when it comes to behavioral change! Like Emily, I trust him and he knows me well.... so even if in the moment I think I can't do this, he always seems to know what I need and i haven't felt that he's been unfair. We've also been doing this for a long time so when we started, the spankings weren't enough of a deterrent to make long term change and I was spanked pretty frequently but we've talked a lot about it over the years and he knows when I've really learned a lesson vs. Just my cries to behave bc it hurts.... I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts on how it'd be stressful/ distracting for you to not have a set number! I know it's not uncommon practice but I haven't heard from someone who does it that way
The log is a great idea and really shows a major change in behavior! So it must be working, That's amazing!

DisciplinedWife
Posts: 19
Joined: Tue Dec 03, 2019 4:12 am

Re: Spanking, clothing and humiliation

Post by DisciplinedWife » Thu Dec 19, 2019 8:34 am

@Emily and Olivia

Thanks for your comments. I am glad to know your high level of trust in your hubby. I think me and my HoH have a greater need to be systematic and consistent in our punishment regime which leads to set spankings, linking degree of undress with severity of spanking and maintenance of a log.I hope my hubby does not read this otherwise I may be subject to spankings of unspecified length to reduce my need to be organized :D

Lauren
Posts: 1238
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2018 6:45 pm
Location: Wisconsin

Re: Spanking, clothing and humiliation

Post by Lauren » Thu Dec 19, 2019 11:47 am

DisciplinedWife,

Who decides the severity of the offense?

DisciplinedWife
Posts: 19
Joined: Tue Dec 03, 2019 4:12 am

Re: Spanking, clothing and humiliation

Post by DisciplinedWife » Thu Dec 19, 2019 12:24 pm

Hi Lauren,

My HoH determines the severity levels.

Lauren
Posts: 1238
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2018 6:45 pm
Location: Wisconsin

Re: Spanking, clothing and humiliation

Post by Lauren » Thu Dec 19, 2019 12:27 pm

So I think like Olivia, you need to trust your husband.

DisciplinedWife
Posts: 19
Joined: Tue Dec 03, 2019 4:12 am

Re: Spanking, clothing and humiliation

Post by DisciplinedWife » Thu Dec 19, 2019 12:33 pm

I do. He only has set the number of strokes for each severity level. I know that I will not be inadvertantly punished severely for what he believes is a small offence. Otherwise, I will find the discipline process very uncertain and stressful.

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