Yes, I agree.
But it also depends on the broken rule itself I guess.
There is a practical benefit for my wife and me when there is a bit of a delay between rule break and consequences. When we do discipline in the heat of the moment, it's easy to get wrapped up in the emotions, not so easy to fully submit, more inclined to be uncooperative or defiant, as well as more likely to punish in anger. Given some time and cooling off, I think it helps us each get in the right frame of mind to both administer and take our consequences gracefully and cooperatively.
The delay is usually just due to circumstances, as we were discussing earlier.Olivia wrote: ↑Thu Dec 19, 2019 6:44 amRand E, I'm glad y'all found what works for you!! If you decide to put off punishment for a little while what does that look like?
For example, do y'all carry on as though nothing happened?, is there tension in the air?, are you addressing it to some degree until you're ready to punish or not?
For us, there has been I think only a few times where we needed extra time to process (either he was very upset or I was being defiant) but that just meant I spent like 30 minutes in the corner instead of 5 to 10
Having raised 2 kids, I understand some of the challenges, although you sound like you have an exceptionally difficult situation there. You must have some impressive coping skills to deal with all that and hold it together. I would probably lose my sanity. I wish you well, especially at getting more privacy. It's a precious commodity.Lauren wrote: ↑Thu Dec 19, 2019 12:25 pmRand E,
To be completely honest, it's been a very long time since we have been able to even attempt immediate punishment. Around 3 years. We have zero privacy. Kids awake, my mom and her husband around. Kids sleeping but parents still in the house. The basement is not finished and sound carries greatly. It is so completely fustrating. When we only had our oldest it was easy. We could do it while she was sleeping or she was a content child and she would play by herself long enough for us to do what we needed to. Our younger two are up my rear end 24/7. Nosey, needy, stage 3 clingers. If we had our own house we would be able to let them cry it out and learn how to deal for 5 minutes. But my mom and her husband both have high anxiety and can't handle them crying. So to answer your question: If the situation was too intense, it was never a problem because Brandon would put me in the corner for 10-15 minutes giving us both time to settle down. Now we never have to worry about it being too intense to discipline because we know it's not going to happen at that minute. If ever.