My wife and I are a switch couple who have been spankos for the entire 25+ years of our marriage. We only about a year ago began the practice of spanking for punishment and adopted a cooperative domestic discipline arrangement. Our arrangement has many similarities to the DD practiced by the members of this forum, especially the corporal punishment aspect, except in our case it cuts both ways. We have rules that we both must follow, and a rule break may call for discipline on either one of us.
I don't exercise sole authority and discretion, so I can't call myself an HoH. But then again, it's not entirely 50-50, either, since I tend to be more dominant. I wind up punishing my wife more often than vice-versa. Let's say it's more like 80/20. But if I break a rule, I have to submit to the consequences as administered by my wife at her discretion, just as I expect her to submit to me when called for. I always felt that we each have a baked-in dom/sub nature, and some of us, maybe even most of us, are not all dom or all sub but a mixture of both. That's probably why my wife and I are a switch couple in the first place.
I couldn't tell from your post whether you have a set of rules you both have to follow, or whether you have a more traditional DD relationship where you occasionally feel the need to be punished, but are nevertheless the sole HoH in the relationship. I guess the question would be whether your spouse can call you out for a rule break and decide on punishment, or it only happens to you when it's your idea.
But I can certainly understand the need for some reciprocation in any case. I feel much better about administering discipline to my wife knowing what it is like to be on the receiving end. I won't dish it out if I can't take it, so to speak. Plus, there's nothing like getting a good spanking.
This is not to criticize the single dom/sub HoH/TiH model espoused on this forum. It's just that in my case, given that mix of dom-sub in my personality, there is a part of me that needs to submit to my wife sometimes, to her authority and to her discipline. It's in my nature.
I would certainly love to chat with you about your DD arrangement and how it is working out for you and your spouse, and to talk about my own. As you can tell from my post, there don't appear to be many CoDD practitioners on this forum.