Feeling troubled

Spanking and Domestic Discipline
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oldfashionedwife
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Joined: Mon Jun 17, 2019 8:06 pm

Feeling troubled

Post by oldfashionedwife » Sun Jun 23, 2019 9:37 am

About 6 weeks ago my husband and I were working on a project...It should have been easy but instead it was very frustrating and I ended up calling him a name...He ignored it and didn't say anything...I don't think I have ever been so disrespectful and it is weighing on my mind...I have pretty much decided that I am going to ask for punishment but with my husband I have to be specific about what it is he is to do...I wish it was something that came naturally to him but it isn't...Otherwise it would have been something he would take care of right away, right? Anyway...I don't know what it is I want him to do...I mean...the severity...Is this a spanked to tears event? That's never happened before so I don't know what I need to get there...Also...Is there something he could read about giving a lecture? I need to hear him tell me how much this displeased him...I feel like I am not explaining this well at all...I need to feel ashamed, I need to feel punished, and I need to feel forgiven... but I don't know how to get there...

Mariyah
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Joined: Wed Jun 19, 2019 4:51 am

Re: Feeling troubled

Post by Mariyah » Sun Jun 23, 2019 10:46 am

I would communicate this need to your husband in a respectful manner, if I were in your situation.

Maybe ask your husband to decide the appropriate punishment?

I dont know what kind of punishment would be appropriate for your DD relationship. My husband is currently making a rule list and the punishments assigned them. That gives me clarity about what is expected from me, and what consequences breaking the rules have.
I hope your husband and you reach a solution that gives you peace of mind.

nicolelinn45
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Location: Southern Ohio

Re: Feeling troubled

Post by nicolelinn45 » Mon Jun 24, 2019 6:45 am

I believe you will need to speak with him about your feelings and holding you accountable in the future perhaps with set punishments so that it is already established for him. Maybe this time you can think of several punishment options and present those to him so he can choose. DD is a relationship just like any other, both partners have to be "all in" or someone will get frustrated, usually that is the submissive because of inconsistency on HOH responsibility. I think it happens to all of us from time to time.
I know what you are going thru. Start with talking to your HOH.
Keep us updated

Nic
Learning sweet submission and respect through my Heavenly Father and my HOH Husband.

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sweetie
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Location: United Kingdom

Re: Feeling troubled

Post by sweetie » Mon Jun 24, 2019 4:09 pm

I agree with the previous comments that speaking to him about this is the way to go. Communication is important. Although six weeks is a long time ago.
sweetie x
Please inform MrsSweetie, my HoH, if I'm in any way impolite, disrespectful, inapproptiate, or cause any offence

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NateG
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Location: Virginia

Re: Feeling troubled

Post by NateG » Tue Jun 25, 2019 1:40 pm

Clint did have a few blog pieces on how to give a lecture. I'm not sure if it is still available.

You may have to tell your husband very specifically what you are looking for in DD and why. Many are still a bit unsure exactly how much discipline/ control/ etc. that you need and expect.

In this example, you probably need to ask him why he didn't do anything when you called him a name. Then tell him that you expected him to do something then and was bothered that he didn't. Explain why if you can. Sometimes wives will think their husbands don't care when they don't take action.

Nate

oldfashionedwife
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Joined: Mon Jun 17, 2019 8:06 pm

Re: Feeling troubled

Post by oldfashionedwife » Wed Jun 26, 2019 9:16 am

Thank you for your responses...We have talked...He said he waited because he was upset and the more he waited the easier it got to ignore it...He is unsure of himself and how far to go...How far is too far ? I don't know...some people are just not cut out to...I don't want to say lead because he does that...not cut out to take the bull by the horns...I'll accept the fact that the guilt I feel is my punishment...

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NateG
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Location: Virginia

Re: Feeling troubled

Post by NateG » Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:14 am

Oldfashionedwife,

I was curious how things have been going since your last post? I do understand that many husbands have some reluctance in doing corporal punishment and are afraid of going to far. I think most of would feel that somewhat. But really, it's a learning process and you both will have to experiment a little bit with it. Talk sometime after a punishment and you and he can try to be honest about how effective the punishment was...you can tell him to go longer or harder, or if it's too much for you. It's sometimes awkward, but try to have these conversations.

Nate

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