In shock

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Re: In shock

Post by Sassyclouds » Sun Feb 03, 2019 1:17 am

Thank you for your advice. I will try to take charge of my life now. It's just so hard after my husband controlling everything for 19 yrs. I was a cashier making minimum wage when I last worked 10 yrs ago. I was lucky and thankful to be able to have kids and be a stay at home mom. I am so scared. I have to learn everything again. I was so dependent on him to handle money, bills, etc. I still don't know much about my computer....unlike him. He can build a computer. He is so smart. I will miss his guidance.

My oldest only listened to my husband. I use to have to say do I need to tell daddy...well, she would listen when I said that. Now, there's no one to help me...daddy is gone. Luckily, my oldest has been great. So mature over night. She helps me so much with my youngest. So sweet.

I did get a lawyer. He charged me $250.00 and wasn't very good. I am still trying to find a good one to help me. I want a woman lawyer this time. I have a free consultation on Monday with one. Wish me luck....

I will ask about getting health insurance included. I think I will get alimony....I just worry about how long. I looked it up on the internet. He will only have to pay for half our, only 9 yrs. Meanwhile, he'll be making more money by then.

I read online that as long as I will raise our kids in this house-their family home-the Judge will let me stay here until my youngest turns 18 yrs old. Then, I will be forced to sell. I will be 60 yrs old by then. That scares me. We have lived here for 14 yrs....

In that Separation Agreement....I gave everything to my husband except our joint bank account and half our debt apparently. I have no money and no job....but, he wants me to pay half our debt. He expects me to take over my car stuff immediately after our divorce is final. How can he be so cruel after 19 yrs together and 2 kids. I still can't believe this is happening. I have a toddler on a baby level still because she has special needs. Yet, he wants to leave me poor and worse.

My husband told me to get on welfare, etc. So, with how he is treating me....and the horrible way he left can I still want him back? I don't understand how I can still love and miss him....but, I do. I would take my husband back in a heartbeat.

When I first said I wanted a lawyer, he got mad. He said if I contest it I will lose my kids and lose everything. He later told me I "could" get a lawyer. My husband is so different now. I think he fell in love with someone else, but I hope not. I will try not to seem so desperate to be back together for now on. Thank you all for caring.
I'm Sassy. After 19 yrs, married 18yrs with kids, my husband moved out 12-31-18. He told me we our separating and he moved out an hour later. We had a DD marriage for over a year but, without consistency. It was my idea. He didn't really want it.

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Re: In shock

Post by DesertRose » Sun Feb 03, 2019 10:39 am

Oh SassayCloud.. I'm sorry you are going through all of this. I won't be able to give advice better than what everyone here already gave. I agree with all of them. Your husband treated you so horribly and it is complete unjust.

I know it is easier said than done but "if he's stupid enough to walk away, but smart enough to let him go". I know that you feel it is difficult to move on, but every end is a new beginning, try to find a job and maybe, just maybe you will find someone who knows your worth.

I wish you all the best in those hard times.. may God will open doors for you and you will find your happiness is your beautiful kids.

My heart is with you dear ♡
🌸 I want a husband who will love me enough to punish me.

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Re: In shock

Post by Coryman » Sat Feb 23, 2019 2:33 pm

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