Any Parents, Teachers, Pediatricians, or Any Other Person That Has a Job Title that Deals with Kids Out There?

All other things! Cat memes are okay, too.
User avatar
MyLove
Posts: 177
Joined: Tue Sep 25, 2018 12:34 pm

Re: Any Parents, Teachers, Pediatricians, or Any Other Person That Has a Job Title that Deals with Kids Out There?

Post by MyLove » Fri Dec 07, 2018 8:32 am

Four year olds!! They are so stubborn and smart and loveable, and frustrating as heck! If he isn't the type to sit down and learn, get him outside or moving to do the work. You can draw letters with chalk, and have him walk on them like a tightrope, grab a bucket and go on a treasure hunt to find things of a specific color, or hide notecards with the letter you are working on, and go find them together. "I found a D! Let's find some more!" then count them in front of him. Count everything out loud in front of him. Eventually he will join in. Lemons at the grocery store going into the bag, how long can you stand on one foot, hubby? I bet I can do it longer. How about you, kiddo? How many times can you hop up and down, etc.

If he is able to sit still, you can write letters and numbers on paper and have him cover only the line with stickers or playdough. When he is at the point of writing letters, numbers, etc, you can fill a baking tray with salt and let him write with his finger. Shapes would be a better place to start with writing. Don't push the sitting still thing if he's not up to it, though. Some kids are just wired to be up and moving, and you can ave the sitting time for when its a safety or sanity issue. (Walmart, carseat, meals, doctor, etc.) He does need to learn to sit and focus, but don't start with that.
I have found the best read aloud time to be at meals, especially breakfast and lunch, because at the end of the day, I just want to connect with hubby and relax a bit. Not that family meals with young children are 100% relaxing... :roll:

Boom Chickaboom is a fun, silly book to learn letter names and their order. If he likes Elmo, look up the ABCs with Usher as well.

Constant, offhand exposure is the way to go with this age. Low pressure. I always said I wouldn't bribe my children with food, but m&ms saved my sanity when potty training took foreverrrrrr with my oldest. She needed the tangible incentive.

I think it's awesome that you are investing so much time and effort into helping your husband's little brother! Some of my suggestins may not work for your particular situation or his temperament, and that's totally fine. Use what works, discard the rest!

-ML💕
Led in love by Phil04, and learning to submit by the Grace of God. Naturally submissive, but not perfectly so, I am praying for a pure heart and virtuous character. 💕

whisk32
Posts: 46
Joined: Tue Dec 19, 2017 6:51 am

Re: Any Parents, Teachers, Pediatricians, or Any Other Person That Has a Job Title that Deals with Kids Out There?

Post by whisk32 » Sat Dec 08, 2018 1:38 pm

When he is at home, they plant him in front of a TV or give him a phone to play on. When he is at our house, we try to not let that happen. Last Monday I tried to teach him what the letter "A" was, but he would find a way to get off topic (asking random questions, going and grabbing toys, asking me the same question I asked him, etc.) His parents want him to go to school, but I'm afraid he 1. won't pass the assessment 2. will get kicked out in a week for being a little badass. Our house is pretty much the only place he doesn't get to do whatever the heck he wants, and I honestly think that is the only reason they get us to keep him for long amounts of time (his parents call it taking a break from each other.)

Tanaquil
Posts: 23
Joined: Mon Nov 12, 2018 2:28 pm

Re: Any Parents, Teachers, Pediatricians, or Any Other Person That Has a Job Title that Deals with Kids Out There?

Post by Tanaquil » Sat Dec 08, 2018 10:48 pm

Oh I see. I don't really know much about.assessments that kids have to pass to get into preschool. Mine aren't old enough yet.

And I hope I didn't offend you with mentioning getting evaluated by a Speech Language Pathologist. I didn't mean to imply there was some serious permanent problem. I just know a lot of parents whose kids see an SLP for being behind. Though primarily because they were preemies. So I met them from my preemie support group since my twins were preemies.

Anyway, it's great you are helping your nephew. I'm sorry his parents don't seem as interested in helping him with these things.

whisk32
Posts: 46
Joined: Tue Dec 19, 2017 6:51 am

Re: Any Parents, Teachers, Pediatricians, or Any Other Person That Has a Job Title that Deals with Kids Out There?

Post by whisk32 » Sat Dec 15, 2018 2:13 pm

Well, we haven't had the little dude in two weeks, because he can't act like a three year old terrorist while he is here. As of Thursday he has 7 stitches on the top of his foot from a piece of glass, because no one was watching him.

Lauren
Posts: 691
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2018 6:45 pm
Location: Wisconsin

Re: Any Parents, Teachers, Pediatricians, or Any Other Person That Has a Job Title that Deals with Kids Out There?

Post by Lauren » Sat Dec 15, 2018 3:20 pm

You do understand that it takes more then a few days for a child's lifetime behaviors to change right? I could be reading all of your posts wrong but it seems like you and your husband are putting a God awful lot of pressure on an innocent 3 year old. He behaves the way he does because that's what adults have taught him. He wasn't born a terrorist or to be vindictive. Being a foster parent has taught me that it takes a long time and a lot of patience for these children to readjust and relearn what is acceptable and what isn't. Your husband making fun of the child is not helping and is counterproductive. Giving up on the child right away doesn't help either.

At the age of 3 kids learn through playing. Games, puzzles, toys and examples. They are not expected to sit for very long. Their attention span is not very long.

whisk32
Posts: 46
Joined: Tue Dec 19, 2017 6:51 am

Re: Any Parents, Teachers, Pediatricians, or Any Other Person That Has a Job Title that Deals with Kids Out There?

Post by whisk32 » Sun Dec 23, 2018 4:46 am

Innocent? Bahahahaha. 🤣😂🤣😂 He tried stabbing my mother-in-law's hamsters, stabbed a dog, tried "slicing" his grandma and her chihuahua, and kicked a rabbits cage so hard it snapped his back. No, we aren't hard on him at all, and he isn't very innocent; we are trying to keep him out of the system, because his parents sure as heck aren't going to pay for "someone that he can talk to," and his dad thinks he does no wrong. I wasn't going to mention that part, but the words "innocent 3 yr old" were thrown in the mix. I shouldn't have to hide everything in my house that can be used as a weapon when the "innocent 3 yr old" comes to stay.

Lauren
Posts: 691
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2018 6:45 pm
Location: Wisconsin

Re: Any Parents, Teachers, Pediatricians, or Any Other Person That Has a Job Title that Deals with Kids Out There?

Post by Lauren » Sun Dec 23, 2018 8:39 am

And he was born this way? Satan had his spirit the second he came out of his mother? While still in the womb? What?

No. It is taught by lack of parenting and seen behavior by others. Do yourself and the INNOCENT child a favor and let someone else try to help him out. Someone who is trained for this kind of behavior.

AddyJane
Posts: 239
Joined: Thu Oct 04, 2018 1:26 pm

Re: Any Parents, Teachers, Pediatricians, or Any Other Person That Has a Job Title that Deals with Kids Out There?

Post by AddyJane » Sat Dec 29, 2018 4:28 pm

I’m not a parent, teacher, or pediatrician but, I was raised by an expert child developmental specialist. My mother writes curriculums for child development for those seeking their masters. I grew up with my mother being the go-to for our neighbors, church members and friends- always children in our house, being assessed, testing reflexes, talking to moms about behaviors.
Anyhow I’ve perused the replies to this post and I am going to tell you what she would:
All the suggestions to ready this child and catch him up are nobel and might work. But you need to contact the school district he will attend one day and ask for an evaluation for potential intervention. Explain that he is behind and you are fearful that he will not be prepared for kindergarten- describe the language delays.

His delays will qualify him to speacilized education to prepare him for kindergarten. This might include therapists, free preschool, behavioral consults- all depending on their assessment.
Ideally if this is done he may end up being ahead of other students- it is just about intervening before he enters the public school system. They know that this stage is critical so they would rather pay now then have him repeat kindergarten. There is more success this way.
The programs are state run so I would not know which one you would be routed to: ( Early intervention, Head Start, Early Childhood.) This will involve professionals so you are balancing your efforts with theirs. His father will need to do the paperwork, but you can gather the forms for him and explain.

They then schedule an appointment for an evaluation: test cognitive function, language and even behavioral aspects, which can be a disability- not just naughtiness.

Anyhow, the last thing I would say is that when statements such as “ wanting to keep him out of the system” are made, it is important to address enabling. I think family members say this out of love and wanting the best- but if their is a flicker of doubt in your mind- CPS should be involved and you should press for it. It is better to be the family member coming forward saying “we see a problem/ but here we are a stable home”- than another turning a blind eye.
This is not easy, only you can judge this because you see it first hand!
Best of luck!

whisk32 wrote:
Sun Dec 23, 2018 4:46 am
Innocent? Bahahahaha. 🤣😂🤣😂 He tried stabbing my mother-in-law's hamsters, stabbed a dog, tried "slicing" his grandma and her chihuahua, and kicked a rabbits cage so hard it snapped his back. No, we aren't hard on him at all, and he isn't very innocent; we are trying to keep him out of the system, because his parents sure as heck aren't going to pay for "someone that he can talk to," and his dad thinks he does no wrong. I wasn't going to mention that part, but the words "innocent 3 yr old" were thrown in the mix. I shouldn't have to hide everything in my house that can be used as a weapon when the "innocent 3 yr old" comes to stay.

Post Reply